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International Edition
May 20, 2013 Last Updated: 11:15:AM EDT

"Gallery Girls" Recap: The Return of the Sucklord, Angela's Photo Show, Vulvic Photo Sharing, And More

English

"Gallery Girls" Recap: The Return of the Sucklord, Angela's Photo Show, Vulvic Photo Sharing, And More

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Photo by: David Giesbrecht /Bravo — © NBCUniversal, Inc.
Chantal in her finest Sucklordian attire
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by Chloe Wyma
Published: September 11, 2012

As the episode opens, Angela’s relentless campaign of self-promotion finally pays off when she locks down her photo show venue/it girl celebutante party. The shindig will take place at a shoe store called Creative Recreation in Soho. So she has cracked the shoe world, the first logical step towards an art career! The themes will be “solitude and moroseness.” Get ready for a wild ride.

Claudia's Ace in the Hole, Amy's Dinner Party

 

While Angela’s art dreams are coming true, Claudia is learning to compromise on hers. Still miffed that she has yet to turn parlay paintings into cash, her partner in crime Chantal sends Claudia out for what amounts to a crazy Spiderman-meets-Batman Bravo reality show fantasy meetup: a studio visit to the workshop of unlicensed action figure maker and “Work of Art” cast-off Morgan “The Sucklord” Phillips (remember him?). Chantal apparently "read" about "this guy" named the Sucklord, and "thought" he would be a good addition to End of Century’s stable. “We know his stuff is going to sell,” Chantal tells Claudia with phenomenal confidence given the content of that sentence, “so i guess we need to just suck it up.” Pun intended.

Claudia and the Sucklord meet cute, creating a perfect self-reflexive ouroboros of Bravo’s television universe. He shows Claudia his various branded suckery, from trading cards called the “Suck Pack” to a 20-dollar roll of toilet paper, “Ass Wipe.” Claudia thinks the guy is a douchebag and worries that his nerd kitsch grownup toys might not fit their client base of young hot downtown girls. “What are you into, chick flick stuff?” he responds. "Yeah we listen to Joni Mitchell all day and cry and then at the end of the day we try to sell some art." The chemistry is electric! The two lovebirds are interrupted by Chantal, who, as it happens, is a big Sucklord fan. After putting their heads together, these three somehow agree on some topical Occupy Wall Street-themed exhibition, including a limited-edition, super-political toilet paper entitled “Occupy Your Asshole.” Or maybe tampons, the Sucklord suggests, since EOC is for girls. Art!

Over in Murray Hill, Maggie is multitasking, steaming a satin blouse and bitching at her mom on the phone at the same time. She’s going home to Pennsylvania for the weekend and wants to make sure there will be a sufficient quantities of sparking wine and “green bean casserole for Ryan.”

Meanwhile, Amy is having a dinner party (sans green bean casserole, one hopes). Always one to take the high road, or the boot-licking ground-crawler road, depending on how you think about it, Amy invites Liz to her party, even though, only last week, Liz had called her a groveling ass-kisser with substance abuse issues. Liz is a no-show, as are Chantal and Claudia, who call feigning illness within five minutes of one another. Amy and some of her blood relatives eat salad in total silence. It is, as Amy says, the “worst party ever.” That is until Kerri, Maggie, and Angela show up! Amy gives them the grand tour; and the girls take turns making fun of Amy’s nouveau riche decorating taste. Kerri, whose dubiously palatial digs we saw just last week, has some harsh words for Amy’s fancy upholstered wallpaper. Maggie says that “Amy's apartment is decorated like an old person's house.” Angela says, “Amy’s apartment is large, expensive, and gaudy, just like Amy.” Ouch! The girls finish the night by drinking wine and wondering aloud about how prints come in editions.

Sharon's Scorn, Maggie's Malaise

Speaking of limited editions, the next day we find ourselves at the International Print Center with print epicure Anne Coffin and everyone’s favorite plucky female art adviser, Sharon Hurwotz. Amy is notably absent. She shows up an hour late with the world’s least sympathetic apology: "I'm so sorry. It's impossible to get from the Upper East Side all the way down to Chelsea in such a quick amount of time." Sharon gives Amy the business about her habitual tardiness. It looks like that honeymoon might be over.

While Amy’s internship is on the rocks, Maggie takes a much-needed vacay from her indentured servitude (and the Gallery Girl's only real "gallery" presence) at Eli Klein Fine Art to see her parents in Pennsylvania. She is bringing Ryan, who finds maternal comfort in Maggie’s home life ever since his mother passed away. They drive by Maggie's alma mater, Layfayette College, which is cause for reflection on her post-collegiate nonsalaried slup. At home, Maggie's adorable mom fries up some latkes and worries about Maggie's well-being: "Why can't they just be little forever and be with their mommy forever?," she frets, as moms are wont to do. The dinner conversation turns to Eli Klein. Sweet Ryan says, “He's just not a very good person. He doesn't have any character. It sucks for her because she loves the artists there. She loves that culture [China]. I just don't want her to lose her passion." Maggie has a glazed look on her face when the conversation splinters into a meaningless din of well-intentioned but useless parental advice. Beleaguered and wanting to change the subject, Maggie jokes that she just aspires to be a host on QVC.

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Contemporary Arts, Television, Reviews, reality tv, Bravo, Eli Klein, End of Century, Gallery Girls
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by Ann Marie O'Brien on September 11, 2012 at 11:09am

I completely forgot about this show. With the recap I can forget about wasting my time watching it, and catch up with the weekly banality!

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