As if in response to our recent analysis of the quickly multiplying number of incomprehensible watches, Germany's Biegert & Funk design agency presents Qlock Two W, the wristwatch that literally spells out the time. The square face is an LED-lit grid of 110 letters that illuminate to display the current hour at the push of a button, with letters rather than numbers, leaving no doubts about the current hour (although it may take you longer than a second to figure it out — sadly, not all of us were born speed-readers).
The watch, which is scheduled to hit the market in the fall, is available in a stainless steel or all-black casing, with text in English or German. But beware of subliminal messages embedded in the 100-character grid. As avid conspiracy theorists, we suspect this may be a ruse for the Germans to get us to "E AT MOR E BRATWU RST."