– The Jerks: In a titanically gracious note in response to a Titanic-like PR miscalculation by the 92nd Street Y, Steve Martin wrote an Op-Ed in the New York Times to say that, yes, he realized his talk there with Deborah Solomon about his new art novel had bored the crowd ("I have been performing a long time, and I can tell when the audience’sattention is straying. I do not need a note"), but that he wishes the Yhad not sent the "jarring and disheartening" note asking him to veer from art to his typical clownish entertainment. If the audience "could have lived with 'I am unamused' for just a little longer," he wrote, "who knows, maybe I would have ended up singing my novel." As it is, "the Y has graciously apologized for its hastiness — and I am pleased tosay that I look forward to returning there soon, especially to play basketball." [NYT]

– Double Schnabel: That inimitable, bespectacled trickster and L.A. MOCA director Jeffrey Deitch has announced that in two years his museum will host a Julian Schnabel retrospective, following the California arts institution's Schnabel-curated Dennis Hopper exhibition. [LAT]

– Philanthropic Birds: Proving that the Guggenheim is not the only museum to see the value of Internet time-wasters, the Whitney has unveiled "Clickistan," an online video game designed by artists Ubermorgen.com that combines weird fun with fundraising. After every few levels — which include absurdist clicking exercises, funny global warming questions, a shoot-the-kitten game, and a Space Invaders-style foray into insanity — comes a prompt to contribute $1 to the museum to continue playing. [Clickistan]

– Selling History to Fund the Future: As cash-strapped art museums stubble to live up to the AAMD's stringent rules on deaccessioning, the Philadelphia History Museum — which is governed by looser guidelines as a non-art institution — has sold at least 2,659 objects from its collection through Christie's and other auction houses, bringing in about $3.5 million to finance a planned $5.8 million renovation. Of selling off holdings to meet expenses, the museum's treasurer said, “We want to continue the process, to continue looking at what doesn't fit our needs and move forward." [NYT]

– All the Young Dogs: Are you aware of the evils of puppy farming, the cruel practice of mass doggy production that has animal rights advocates barking mad? If not, tune in to Bonham's memorabilia auction on December 15, where an Epiphone Casino Guitar signed by Brit rock gods like Keith Richards, Jimmy Page, Eric Clapton, and Mick Jones will be sold for £3,000-4,000 to raise money for Liam Gallagher's PUP AID 2010 charity. [Art Daily]

– A Pile for Dung: A replica of the Venus de Milo that Chinese artist Zhu Cheng sculpted from panda dung with the help of children from the Sichuan province was bought for $45,000 by Swiss collector and former diplomat Uli Sigg. [AFP] 

– New NYC Artist Residency: The upstart New York organization Artists Wanted has inaugurated a new "3rd Ward" open call competition for artists, offering the winner a three-month live/work residency in the city, a $5,000 grant, and a solo exhibition. [3rd Ward Open Call]

– Phillips Emerges from Fire With Cake: The Phillips Collection, closed this September after a massive fire that apparently did not harm any artworks, will reopen on January 15 in time for its 90th birthday. Swing by on the 15th or 16th, when admission will be free and specialty cakes will be on offer by local star chefs. And take the museum's "relay tour" of 90 works of art in 90 minutes. [WaPo]

– Not Enough Lenin on Your Wall?: The Hungarian government will auction off 230 communist-era paintings, photographs, and sculptures — bearing estimates of everything from $5 to $1,500 — to benefit victims of October's tragic toxic sludge spill. The sale, titled "Never again! For the third time" will be held today, with two Hungarian stand-up comics presiding over the event. "They have been gathering dust for the past 20 years," Hungary' justice ministry parliamentary secretary Bence Retvari said of the works on offer. "The state does not want to look after these communist relics anymore." [BBC]